We’re better off relying on a number of stories than we are relying on a story of numbers. Think of some of the experiences you or some of your clients have had that would resonate with your clients and prospects. Practice the art of telling the stories well–this triggers imagination and the inclination to relate to you. Think of why you repeat the stories you share with others…it’s because they made you laugh, made you think, made you wonder.
If you’re a member of ROL Advisor, you probably recognize the above from a recent message we sent to subscribers.
There’s a reason stories are 22 times more memorable than facts alone. Authentic stories motivate and inspire, whether you’re sharing them or hearing them. When we know a story is genuine, it resonates with us. When a story feels inauthentic or canned, we tune it out. Good storytelling starts with insightful questions that build trust. People respect someone who asks good questions—and listens to the answers. People will share their stories with you when they feel you are listening. The best thing about asking good questions is that it costs nothing but reaps a lot in return.
Impactful stories start with listening to your clients tell theirs. One of the most effective ways to gather those stories is to establish from the very beginning of the conversation that the spotlight is on them, not you. Not only will they be impressed by your interest in them, they will also warm to you in the glow of that spotlight. You’ll hear stories you didn’t expect and learn things you would never find out from a discovery checklist.
According to a Stanford University study, almost 89 percent of clients base their decision to work with an advisor on communication style versus portfolio returns. When you ask clients to tell their stories—and use authentic stories from others to help inspire those clients—there is no doubt that you are genuine. You elevate the intellect, reason, and thoughts of the person sitting across from you. There aren’t many people who would resist your attempts to truly understand them, nor are there many people who would reject a story you share with them if they know the story is genuine.
While every person’s story may not be interesting to someone else, it is interesting to them—and chances are they want to share it. The problem is that too many people don’t want to sit and listen to those stories. Even more unusual is someone who attempts to actually coax stories out of people. The advisor who is sincere in seeking out those stories will enjoy clients who appreciate their efforts. Advisors who listen to their clients’ stories and comprehend how those stories make each of them unique will enjoy success beyond just AUM. They will enjoy clients for life, and unsolicited referrals.
Clients respond positively to advice when they know someone has had the same experiences or concerns they have had. You can share other clients’ stories to help address those concerns. Your clients will feel comfortable knowing that you can help them address the issue at hand because you’ve dealt with it before.
An important feature of asking well-thought-out questions to get at those stories is helping clients sift through their own priorities and focus on what is most important to them. Good questions raise personal awareness and often help save clients from themselves. After all, most of us don’t have to look much further than the bathroom mirror to see someone who has done something really stupid, including with their own money. Good questions can help bring destructive financial habits and patterns to the surface and provide an opportunity to show your clients how to form constructive financial behaviors.
Good questions have a disarming effect and get clients to open up and share their stories. Address their fears upfront: “What effect has this [fill in the experience] had on you?” This question gives your clients permission to unload their frustration and disappointment at something they have experienced. It will disarm the tension they might have expected in this meeting. You can then focus on what matters most: helping your clients understand what their short and long-term goals are—and how to achieve them. When clients (or prospective clients) walk into your office expecting to be “sold or told” and instead you ask questions, they relax. And when clients relax, they are in a better position to listen, share, and make the right decisions.
A key to getting a conversation started is by unlocking a client’s memory bank and getting them to share stories. Reminiscing causes people to draw out the moments and lessons that have made an impact on their lives. A key to building lasting client relationships is not just knowing where clients want to go but knowing where they’ve been. Asking a client or prospective client to talk about their first “money memory” will help both of you understand their fiscal philosophy. Sharing a story with them may inspire them to share their story with you.
Focus on meaningful dialogues instead of narrow monologues. By asking questions, you encourage prospects or clients to tell their stories and articulate their hopes. In effect, you are handing over the wheel to them. You are like the driver education teacher who sits in the front passenger seat and has a brake pedal in case the driver gets too far off course. In that case, you simply ask another question that brings you back to a path where something constructive can be accomplished. By sharing a story, you may in turn inspire them to share a story they hadn’t thought of before your meeting.
Sharing stories and asking questions is about helping you help your clients make the right decisions. Asking the right questions and sharing stories to help motivate them to share theirs will help both you and your client make the best decisions for their unique situation. Remember, no two client stories are ever the same—and clients who recognize that you understand them as a unique individual will share more readily and trust more thoroughly. And at the end of the day, trust is the defining difference between making the client connection or severing it.
