Coach's Corner: What’s in Your Closet?

Mary Duwe, CFP

A client of mine recently faced the challenges that so many of us face as we go about our daily routines--the emotional conflict between colleagues that can negatively impact our working environments and get in the way of doing what we should be doing—serving our clients. This client told me,

“The presence of these emotional issues between me and my co-workers is far more stressful than working with any client. The good news is that it has forced me to stop and assess my own integrity and character. I’m asking myself what was my part in creating this situation and what is my part in resolving it.”

No doubt you may have found yourself in a similar situation at times during your own career as an advisor. It is important during these times to reevaluate who you are and who you choose to be. How you act, and react, in these types of situations define who you are as a person, both personally and professionally. Adversity builds character and also reveals it. It may be time to take stock of some things, and clean out the clutter.

Addressing organizational challenges such as difficult employees or unnecessary office politics is analogous to cleaning out your closets:

• Remember Fibber McGee’s closet? You reach a point where cleaning is necessary if you want to move forward. When your closet gets too full, you need to get rid of something. The same is true of your practice—when there’s too much "stuff" that doesn’t positively impact your business, something—or someone has to go.
• Cleaning out your closets is generally done when you are forced to evaluate what’s most important to keep. When you get to a point in your practice that not enough work/life balance exists or you’re neglecting your clients, you need to assess your business, and discard what’s not important.
• When you do finally decide what you’re going to keep, you need to

be sure it’s what you want to keep. In your practice, that means making a decision and sticking with it. If you finally delegate a task that you should have gotten rid of long ago, make sure you stick with it.

When cleaning out your closets you may find them jammed with things you needed in the past but no longer want because they are now outdated, out of style or just don’t fit anymore. Deciding what to keep and what to discard can be an emotional one. An object may invoke memories of joy and happiness or challenge and difficulties. Don’t be surprised by the degree of difficulty physically and emotionally this exercise presents in your life. Instead, embrace it.

Many of us have become immune to clutter. Over time we’ve adjusted, adapted and conformed to its presence in our lives. It may even have become a way of life. However, now is the time to sort it out, address it and decide what to do with it. That may mean deciding to divest yourself of some clients, have a few less meetings, or delegate a task you keep insisting can only be done by you. It may also require more painful decisions including terminating an employee that just isn’t pulling his or her weight. The process involves important decisions and can alter the course of your life. When you acquire the clarity that comes after making what are sure to be tough decisions, the results you had hoped for are sure to follow. You will bear the fruit of what you plant.

If this resonates with you here are a few tips that will assist you in cleaning out your own closets whether they are filled with personal clutter or emotional baggage:

1. Take an inventory of where you are

You will know you are doing the right thing because your life and the real reason your business exists will be in sync. Let your conscience guide you. Listen to it carefully. You will feel a sense of peace when you are doing the right thing. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Does what I am doing bring out the best in me?
• Does what I am doing bring out the best in others?
• Does what I am doing bring out the best in the situation?

2. Be authentic

You are unique. You bring your special mix to whatever you are doing. It is your personal fingerprint of engagement … allow it, appreciate it and apply it. When you are being your authentic self you will perform better and your outlook will naturally improve. It becomes easier to rise above problems you are facing. When you are authentic you will notice less resistance and more rewards. The secret to success lies within your authenticity. Know who you really are by the character, kindness and goodness you reveal in the face of the everyday business of living.

3. Adopt a forward approach to life

Make room for new ideas, new energy and new visions. Keep your focus on the purpose of your business. Keep your client’s life as the heart of the matter. Move from an attitude of selling to an attitude of serving. Focus on what lies ahead of you instead of what you may have left behind. Stop looking at life as something to be achieved; instead, consider it a journey to be enjoyed.

4. Forgive and be grateful

This last guideline brings us full circle to where we started our conversation—dealing with office “clutter.” Raise your own standards around the dramas you are pulled into. Once and for all let go of all the “noise” that distracts you. Clean out your closets and get rid of the frustration, anger and resentment you’ve been wearing. When you free yourself from these negative emotions, you make room for what you really want. Make room in your closet for all that you have to be grateful for. Fill your closet with the satisfaction you get from serving your clients. Discard everything else because it doesn’t fit you anymore.

Take a moment to review some of the things you have stored in your closet. Are they vital to your life or have they caused you to lose sight? It’s time to assess what’s really important to you and reclaim the real reason you are doing what you are doing.

Mary Duwe , a veteran advisor, Certified Financial Planner®, and Master Coach, brings a depth of experience and desire to help advisors improve their lives and practices. She has practiced as a successful financial planner since 1984 and is licensed in securities, life insurance, and real estate. Mary has a BS in Psychology and received her coach training from CoachU. She continued her training with the Graduate School of Coaching, Legacy Learning (Franklin Covey Coaching) and has completed the Emotional Competence Inventory Accreditation (EIC). As an experienced Emotional Intelligence Development Coach, Mary works with advisors to reorient their lives and their businesses for greater success, meaning, and fulfillment. Contact her at mary@mitchanthony.com .